He Gives Me Love Love Love Love...

It would be easier, or say, I would learn my lesson. But it isn't. An perhaps this time I did.  I'm listening to all my older music, Kimya Regina, Mira. They are all fabulous. But I have to say Beirut is amazing. Makes me want to be in my forrest house. That is my dream. I don't want to be totally isolate from civilization, just less attached and dependent.

Break Time:
Why am I surprised
Lies and Bullshit and Bullshit and Lies
You'd think I'd give up after so many tries
my fingers on the trigger
and my eyes are on the prize
(Kimya Dawson)

I'm good now.

 

It's one of those time where I hate and love where I am. My moods change from minute to minute, which is no fun. But I love my swings of happiness. Excited and Scared of what the future holds for me, since right now pretty much anything is a go.

 

"Let go." I was let go twice in half a month. Two weeks. One week a part. Couldn't afford to pay me. And couldn't afford to love me? Almost two years of dedication. Four years, and all of a sudden I can't be with you anymore. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, Adrienne, you are an idiot. Well heck it was worth the hurt I suppose. I had my first full blown panic attack. I was gonna call my neighbor to be with me but I calmed myself down. And my constant anxiety only comes and goes now. I want to get over it NOW. NAO. lol

Anyfuckingways, I have been mulling over the idea of volunteering overseas. But I don't know any programs that would pay for room and stuff. I'd pay for it myself but can't really afford it. The idea is still in an infant stage, but I should keep my options open. At least my love and motivation would go to a cause that wants and needs it.

I apologize if I have been in my own little world. I'm slowly clawing my way out.  I need to stop being so emo. Lulz.

I said I would try  to use this thing more often, but that is not going to well hah.

Finally, I hope my paychecks will start getting bigger soon. We have investors :) I guess I'd say I'm a risk taker. Working for less than minimum wage suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks but that outta change soon.

How are you? Whats new? I'm sorry we hardly talk :( Sometimes I just bury myself into my own world. I'm working on fixing that. So tell me what I am missing out on.

Michael ran into someone at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. Blast from the past mannn. I have to say I miss a lot of my old friends. Who knows, maybe we will cross paths one day again.  I wouldn't mind.

B-b-benny and the jets. love that song.

I am excited about my new place. Nothing to special, but its perfect for Michael and I. I am also excited about work. Work hard play hard. I like to chill hard too. haha.

I don't know why I have an lj. I start writing stuff, then I think about people reading it, then I erase it. lol...whatev.

Our bags were packed and we were pretty much ready to leave, but I made the decision to stay.

 

Thank the fucking Lord I did.

Avoided:
Getting arresting
and charged with a felony.


Thank the fucking Lord.

 

 

My birthday this year was better than all years, since I got to spend it with Michael (seeing as he broke up with me pretty much before my birthdays the passed two years). I also got to eat sushiiii.

It was just frustrating when all your bags are packed and you think you have everything planned out, then his friends say we would probably have to rent a hotel since they have a bunch of people staying over this weekend....what? He is your BEST friend and we are the ones that gotta find a hotel? And I thought we had this planned for awhile. Obviously I can't afford a hotel, so I decided to stay home. I tried not to show it much (which is hard with michael) but I tried not to let it ruin my day.

My mantra is "Think Happy Thoughts." With all the crap I have been through the past, I think I got used to either burying myself into what bother me or made me upset, or I simply forgot about them. I think its bad to do either of those. 

But like I said, my day turned out good....




and UGH DO I HAVE TO BEG? Fuck, you think it would be easier for me....

If you don't listen to Fleet Floxes, please do.:)
Voices smooth as butta

Some people feel the need to thrust themselves in the spot light when they don't need to be.
UGH YOU ARE SO ANNOYING.
I LOVE that I am not like other girls.
Driven to use products and waste money. Needing to buy a new shirt every time they go out. Puh.
I wish I could live on a farm and be self-sufficient. Maybe one day, but right now its too hard.

Lookkkk out:)
I miss you lj.

I got to see Michelle:), Jacob and Margil. They all got to see first hand what a bunch of drunks my family is (a happy drunk, thank is haha). It was good seeing family too. Oh gosh and pudge:) Christy and I rocked at beer pong, thats all I'm sayin!

But being back home makes me think of all the friends I used to hang out with. I know I have pushed some people away and others just drifted apart. If I get the chance to rekindle some relationships, I think I might try. I miss alot of people and I know people grow apart, but I know its just as easy to make those connections again. We shall see how that goes.

I'll try updating more often, even though I know about like 3 people read this haha.

 

I love it. Although, i won't have the complete feeling til I am back at home. I miss my familia. Aye.
I have not updated this thing in fucking forever. Whats going on. Graduated. Interned. Was a bit lazy. But I needed a break. Should start getting paid in January. Fuck yeah. Live with Michael. Grandpa passed away (I miss you Grampini!!) 

 

I don't know what else to write...

What is going on with you?

and thats what I am doing now.  Uncertainty is probably the best way to describe what I am going through right now. With this uncertainty comes suprise and excitement because I never know what is going to happen. I am the same person I was, but not entirely. Do I embrace this? I think I will. I have had so much fun these past two weekends. No words can describe and no pictures will do justice.

I was going to apologize for the way I am, but decided against it.

I hate writing what I am thinking.

One more semester after this one and I graduate. Ugh I have so much to say. Everything is different. Damn it I am scared. A year ago, everything was secure and I had my plans. I felt safe. Now, seven months before I graduate I don't know what my plans are. Do I move back to El Paso. No. :( I don't know if I am more in touch with the world right now or just more closed off. I really have issues to deal with now, which is gay. Trust doesn't come easy any more and I hate that aspect about myself.

I am not going to lie though, I am having a blast right now. I have met so many new people. Made A's and B's on my first set of tests. I know my parents are so excited to finally get to see me graduate. Nothing makes sense and my thoughts are jumbled.

What do I do with myself now?


Fuck:(

Good ole PMS. Where I take things to personally, react to quickly and cry at the drop of a dime. Gotta love it!

This semester might prove to be a bit more challenging with more homework. But so far I kind of like it. It occupies what would the time that I usually have nothing to do. Spanish I, College Algebra (GAY), Costume Research History, Writing for the Mass Media, Information Gathering and Analysis.

This weekend Tiff and I hung out. Days of eating way to much pizza, watching movies and doing our favorite activity...mmmm...

It feels like a while since I have updated. My break was nice. Spent 90% of my time with my family. The other 10% went to Michelle:D $1 movies will get me every time. What can I say, I am a cheap date lol. Anywho, here are some pictures:
Frisbee golf with Michael before I had to leave College Station to the EP:

Well kids, not much to report over here. Over and out.

That is all.

Michael got us tickets to see Reeeegina at Antones this past weekend. Oh she was so glorious and cute! I kind of wish it were at a different venue, though. But that is beside the point I had a wonderful time:


Thanksgiving break for me now. Hell yes.

1 Year. Honestly, there are no words. Just that I am incredibly lucky to have found him.

Actions speak louder than words. Some people STILL act like they are in fucking high school. All I have to say is LO-fucking-L. Hahaha...


Anywho, I had an amazing weekend. Friday with Tiffany and Claire. Saturday with Mari, Ani, and Miggie. These girls can drunk dial like no other. I fucking love them. Pictures from both nights will be posted soon.

I never knew love until I met him.

Things do happen a reason, something I hated hearing before.




Camping is going to be amazing.